3 Minute Machinema Script

Hey, This is a script I've got for a film competition that I'm entering. It's based in the world of warcraft game, and the humor is really for warcraft players.


Arena Master

Establishing long shot of Dalaran. Still frame; just a couple of seconds to show the frame feature.

Dizdemona the Belf Female paladin is sitting in a bar in Dalaran with an accomplice (at this point it doesn’t who the person is, the first person online willing to do it will do. For the purposes of making the script shorter Dizdemona will be known as Diz and the Accomplice will be known as Acc.)
[Start with a mid shot of Diz and then Pan to Acc as soon as she’s finished speaking to turn it into a Two shot. Diz should sit on the right of the shot.]

Diz
I’ve decided that I’m going to quit wow.

Acc
…what?! No you’re not.

Diz
I am too. Everything has gone downhill since the beginning of the last arena season. I was a god, rocking out my sweet ass PHD, then it all changed…

Acc
What are you going on about? This is the first time you’ve said anything for, well months.

Diz
I’ve actually not been doing arenas for three months, to be precise… but it’s still so depressing. In BGs five people just nuke me, then when I bubble to try amd stay alive for 12 seconds it’s SHATTERING THROW SWEEPINGSTRIKES BLADESTORM DEAD!

Acc
Actually they fixed that and how do you expect to live against five people?

Diz
Well, they may have no have fixed it because it’s still overpowered. And you know what else is oeverpowered?

Acc
No…??

Diz
Sorry my mum just cam in to tell me my cat just got hit by a car.

Acc
Oh man, sorry dude that sucks.

Diz
No… Deathknights. I can’t kill them. Nothing can.

Acc
Why do-

Diz
NOTHING CAN.

Acc
Why don’t you just heal yourself and hold on a second we need to back track a second-

Diz
Men don’t go backwards. Arenas are fast. Damage is high. This has been noted by the blues.

Acc
Yes, that’s true but-

Diz
-They said resilience will fix it…and now they put in more changes to fix it, now healers are probably going to be overpowered next season, and if they are there’s going to be another change to fix that. Seriously, when are all the changes going to stop, I don’t think I can handle all this change!

Acc
But you don’t even play arenas.

Diz
Yeah, but if I did, I have to go into a screwed up arena environment flooded with uncertainty and miscalculation.

Acc
I’m sure you’re underestimating all the careful planning and consideration that goes into designing the game. It’s constantly evolving and this is just how it happens. It’s a good job you’re quitting if you hate it so much tbh.

Diz
Yeeeaaahhh…

Acc
But you said that you wer-

Diz
-With Cataclysm so close I may as well just wait it out. Things are going to change.

Acc
What?!

Diz
What?

Acc
Let me get this stright…Are you an idiot?

[At this point another character enters.]

New no1
Hey aren’t you that gladiator from season 5 that made that awesome holy arena video?

Diz
Yes…I…am!

Acc
I didn’t know you knew how to play holy…at all…
[Camera Tilts up to reveal that Diz’s guild name is called “RET FO LIFE YO”]

New no1
Can I get your autograph?

Diz
Sure!

New no1
“Love Dizdemona” I thought you were called ‘Superhealz’

Diz
I name-changed.

New no1
Oh…ok…

[She goes to leave. Start rolling credits. The two voice over.]

Acc
I thought Superhelas was a male bloodelf.

Diz
He…might be…

Acc
How many other people think you’re Superhealz?

Diz
…afew.

Acc
You really are an idiot.

Diz
You’re a bigger idiot.

Acc
No I’m not.

Diz
[Very quickly, and a little quietly] …yes you are!